Antropologiske betraktninger om pelshvaldrift

Category: Planet Earth (Page 3 of 3)

To the slaughterhouse

Mine is a green country. Not politically green, albeit, but green as in pine trees, mountain rivers and grasshoppers.

No, I don’t live in Greenland, which is not green, as it happens. Moreover, my country is only green for four months a year, and I grew up wearing long woollen underwear for the remaining 8 months, four of which were decidedly white – you know, the colour you see on Christmas cards – and four of which were tantalisingly undetermined. Autumn was anything but green, but gloriously colourful and crisp unless early snowfalls turned it into a soggy grey porridge, so grey and dark that it suctioned all spirit out of about a quarter of the population. Spring, however, made us weep or laugh hysterically, as glittering icicles would melt and brooks tinkle one day, only to turn hard as stone the next. And it would go on like that for two whole excruciating months, at the end of which we would be quite woozy.

We longed passionately for Summer in spite of the periodically daily showers, the mosquitoes and wasps, and the ice-cold floors that would meet our naked feet as we got out of bed in the morning. We loved the little patches of farmland scratched out of the landscape we passed on our way to summer vacation as the guests of aunts and uncles in the country. As for the distant blue mountains, we took them for granted, as we did delicate birch trees, bluebells, waterfalls, furry bumblebees and warblers.

Above all, though, we loved those rare days – maybe a week or two every year – of “real” summer, when we left town seeking those warm, smooth coastal granite shelves on which we would bask or rise to dive like terns into the sea. No matter if summers were full of rain, if day after day was uniformly grey, cool and wet, our mental health for eight months depended on those rare days of “real” summer.

I speak in the past, as you see. Winters are no longer white, for one thing, and the seasons are all mixed up. This year, an unusually cold Winter started when Spring should have begun, and all of a sudden, on 14 May, Summer erupted with a vengeance. Andalusian temperatures, no less. People couldn’t sleep at night. Not a drop of rain, not a cloud in the sky, not a single fly or wasp to be seen, not to mention bees or bumblebees.

Eventually, after four weeks, torrential rains battered us for one day. Floods, avalanches, even deaths. After a couple of cool days, a new heat wave bore down upon us.

No rain. Weeks and weeks of no rain. The country isn’t used to this. Farmers aren’t used to this. Animals aren’t used to this. There is no grass for livestock, and slaughterhouse employees are being called back to work in mid-holiday. Never, ever, as far back as records go, has there been such a long-lasting heat wave and drought in these parts. But we, the cityfolks, are blissfully unaware of the farmers’ plight. So was I, until ….:

I sought refuge from the heat in a cottage by the sea. How I enjoyed basking, once more, on a warm granite coastal shelf! How ecstatically I dove into the sea. My joy was, however, short-lived: On the island across the sound, a ewe with her two lambs was disconsolately examining the stones and shells of a little beach, while a solitary lamb was bleating pitifully, as it ran back and forth along the shore. It had evidently lost its mother. Have you ever heard a lamb bleating for its mother? The lamb was several months old and quite able to fend for itself, I should have thought, but it was, I insist, heart-broken. No other word will do. Some of its cries were uncannily similar to those of an abandoned child! I could not bear the sound and ran indoors.

Even there, the lamb’s cries pursued me. Until it fell silent. That was almost worse, because I was sure it was still there. I looked out the window, and indeed, there it was, lying by the shore. It had lost all hope. I asked myself: can lambs be suicidal?

I could not stand the idea, so I went out again and down to the shore. As if sensing the existence of an ally in me, a human on the opposite shore, the lamb jumped up, ran back and forth along the shore bleating even more desperately than before. Just how desperate it was became apparent almost immediately, because it waded into the sea, deeper and deeper – ‘NO!’, I shouted and started talking off my clothes, because a lamb is not a dog who obeys orders, while deeper and deeper it went, and of course in the end, the sea lifted it off its feet.

It swam, would you believe it! I’m sure it had never learnt to swim, but it swam, knowing, as it must have, that the alternative was death by drowning. Staring straight into my eyes, it swam and bleated, while I stood waiting for it with tears streaming down my face.

No, I did not have to go out and rescue a drowning lamb. It managed to swim across the sound and clambered to shore, looking no less frightened than it should, because humans are mostly dangerous for sheep, though some humans offer fodder and a safe haven. It had risked its life by trusting me, and now it doubted.

There is one thing I have not told you, though. I knew where its mother was. She had crossed the sound over to my side a few hours previously, taking one of her two lambs with her, and they had all been taken care of by good people and their children, who also phoned the owner. “Come,” I said, “follow me”. The lamb had no alternative but to follow hesitantly, evidently terrified that I would lead it to the slaughterhouse.

The children who were looking after the mother were the first to see it. Their gleeful shouts alerted the ewe, and I shall never forget the ensuing concerto for a reunited ewe and two lambs in two octaves. The joy was simply – I apologise for abusing the word – heartbreaking.

Two days later, I crossed to the island to inspect matters there. Walking around the entire island would have taken the better part of a day, but I turned back halfway. The sights that met me were too depressing. Barren fields. Dead vegetation. No fresh water. Not even mosquitoes.

I came upon the owner of the sheep, who was rounding them up to drive them elsewhere. I dared not ask: Was she going to the slaughterhouse? She was unhappy: Two were missing, a ewe and a lamb. We both knew that they might have crossed over to my side and drowned.

What can you do?

A new year

What if we lived in a world where the powers-that-be set out to eradicate children who were less than excellent students, women who were less than very sexy, men who were not both muscular and smart?

Such a policy would be far more radical than mere eugenics, (cf. Nazism and Joseph Mengele), yet enterprises in this vein are not altogether unheard of. After all, the whites did go after the reds, the blacks, the browns and, most recently, the Jews; though of course the Jews were white too, which only goes to show that race really is irrelevant.

The good news is that unless some crackpot presses one of those famous buttons, the planet will survive and with it the human species, for good or for worse.

As the climate becomes ever more ornery and unpredictable, investors will be happily occupied in satisfying new consumer needs. There will be a market for protection against erratic climate tantrums: hurricane-proof and tsunami-resistant systems, self-replenishing underground lakes, desalination plants. We already have a booming industry of carbon sequestration and ocean plastic capture projects. Eventually, of course, clean energy will be the rule, not the exception, resulting in new scrambles for market positions.

The problem is that very few of us can afford having our own underground artificial lakes. Now if you are lucky enough to live in a country that requires even its wealthy  inhabitants to pay taxes, your government may be able to afford systems to protect you against extreme climatic events, at least for a few years. Provided of course that all the taxes paid are not diverted to “defence”. Parenthetically, I wish to point out that my quotation marks refer to the fact that in some countries, the word “defence” means “attack”.

The ultimate climate débâcle will not kill us all, rest assured. The one percent who can afford palaces with artificial self-replenishing lakes under tsunami-resistant, hurricane-proof, self-cleaning glass bells will need underpaid workers to man their factories, clerks to send their invoices, male and female hookers to satisfy their sexual needs, interpreters to help them communicate with competitors on other tectonic plates, nurses to tend their spastic parents and psychopathic offspring. There is hope for us all: many will find a safe haven from the vindictive climate under the wings of the one percent, also in future.

Many will not. Among those who will not, we will see blacks, browns and — oh yes — whites. Many of them. There will be devoted fathers, good musicians, kind little girls, dreamers, surfers, biologists, house painters, and geniuses. Many of these people will be stacked away in rat-infested refugee camps along the borders, where they may or may not be fed. Others will try to survive as fugitives, stealing and fighting each other over water, blankets and toilet paper.

Thanks to those of us who are elected to serve the one percent ( I am glad that I don’t have much longer to live) they will be spared from having to inbreed and give birth to three-headed babies. Pity. I would have loved to learn the eugenic outcome of a hundred years’ inbreeding. Would mating emperors create smarter babies than the rest of us do now?

Finally, bearing in mind that we are facing a new year with a few quite sinister clouds on the horizon, I would like to add that sometimes things turn out very much better than we feared. Nevertheless, we should all — young and old and in-between — be a little alert, to say the least. Is there anything we can do to make things better, for instance?

And — sorry to say this — but please take a look at my post “Encryption“, just to be on the safe side.

Failed attempt to delimit humanity

You know about the rabbits and the foxes, don’t you, about how there were lots and lots of rabbits in Rabbitland, until along came a couple of foxes, one of each sex, as it happens, and they thought the local rabbits were delicious. They ate and they ate, and they mated too, and their offspring ate and ate and mated too until there were hardly any rabbits left, only a few streetwise, canny ones that nobody wanted to eat, because they were skinny from running and/or lying low. So guess what happened to the foxes. Those that didn’t run away eventually died, undernourished as they were for lack of rabbits.

Imagine the yelps of joy that rang out right across Rabbitland, when the last fox vanished. The surviving skinny rabbits came out of their warrens, gobbled down great big tufts of grass, ran great big circles of delight, and gobbled some more.

So there’s hope for humanity too. By the time we have basically consumed, burnt or poisoned most of the planet’s species, its waters, soil and air, Mr Trump and his imperial court will be ready. He will have collected a pair (hopefully one of each sex) of all the animals he knows of, and Ivanka will expeditiously drive them all into the imperial space Arc – that shouldn’t take too much time. When all the animals are in the Arc, when the emaciated imperial guard has played the imperial march for the last time, and when Mr Trump and his court have duly waved their last goodbyes to the haggard press from the threshold of the spacecraft, the doors to the Arc will shut close. A few moments later, the Arc will zip off into space, bound for Mars.

On a rather more malevolent note, I would just love to be a fly on the wall in the imperial living quarters on Mars, as the family members discover one after the other that the omnipotence of money will only get you so far on a cold, inhospitable and above all uninhabited planet.

Meanwhile, back on Tellus, those of us who are still around will come out from under the ground, bringing the school textbooks, microscopes, gardening tools and encyclopedias we have treasured in secret for years. We will try to locate, nurture or bring back to life, dying species – be they plants, snakes, fishes, birds or mammals – and, not least, one another.

Wouldn’t that be nice? I see you are shaking your head. No? It would be nice, you say, but…

Yes, BUT! It is true that the best of us will act as outlined even against all odds, and it is true that many of us, maybe even a majority, would gladly do so if given half a chance. However, alas, there will always be, not only another Mr Trump, but any number of mini-Trumps who insist on having more, being more than everybody else. I put it to you that ours is a very strange and ethically complex species.

Attempt at making a list

And now for all the good things, the things for which those who believe in a God have reason to offer thanks. Such a list, my friends, is called for, to prevent us from weeping all day and all night over Aleppo and all the little dead children there; an energetic list, to the accompaniment of drum rolls and waving flags, while happy children prance around dressed in their Sunday best.

We hear items from the list every day. In the lift on my way up to work, for instance:

– At least it’s not snowing.
– Better than in Aleppo, for sure.

Or in the lift on my way from work:

– Weekend at last! My wife is away with some friends, and I’m going to get drunk with mine.
– My children are away, so I’m going to read that book, at last.

No, that won’t do. If there is no rain in Aleppo, humanity’s tears will drown the place unless we can do better. So let’s pull our socks up, shall we!

– My begonia is still blossoming, in October, would you believe it? It’s so very beautiful; a hybrid of course. It reminds me that though species in the wild are dying, one by one, due to drought or whatever, we – humans, I mean – will always be able to create new and wonderful hybrids.
– … which will be available to those that can afford to keep a gardener, or something.
– Well, I’m sure there’ll be botanical gardens here and there, at least in big cities.
– Yes, and zoos. You know, in theory we can probably clone any of the popular mammals before they become extinct: lions and whales and tigers and stuff.
– … and we would not have to clone those horrible snails…
– I’m afraid they’ll be among the last to go.
– Oh dear. Well, at least there are still a few birds left in the country, and I’m off to the country for the weekend.
– Leaving your beautiful begonia?
– I’ll have something to look forward to coming back to, won’t I? Have a nice weekend.
– You too.

But I, the furry whale, have a better candidate than begonias to promote as a generator of happiness: Violin quartets. Violin quartets do not need rain or for that matter sun or fertile earth or even concert halls. Violin quartets only need violins and sheet music and a room that can accommodate four people, and me of course, who wants to listen.

But when the forests die and when almost all violins have been burnt in towns like Aleppo (compare Warsaw under WWII – a topic of many films) there will be neither violins nor paper on which to print the notes to be played … Aleppo again!

Why – in heaven’s name! – why Aleppo, again and again? What about Niger? What about all the countries of the Sahel, where death by drought and starvation is the order of the day, where sub-human Bocoharamists put people out of their misery when poverty has finished doing it’s business.

– Your dog had puppies? Why congratulations!!
– Wait, I’ll show you. Hold on, I’m a bit slow with this mobile phone stuff… oh yes, here they are.
– Oh my goodness! How unbelievably adorable!

And so it goes

Much has happened since the Middle Ages, not to mention since the Stone Age. Most of us now have TVs, for instance, and can witness what people are doing in other parts of the world. Many of us enjoy being on-line every moment of the day, except perhaps in the shower. We get healthier food than ever, if we can afford it, better screen resolutions, and faster cars.

Even our species seems to have improved a little, at least according to Steven Pinker: Growing numbers of people are vehemently opposed to torture and death penalties. So-called civilised countries even claim to treat children, prisoners, women and blacks humanely.

Alas, the tide – if there ever was one – seems to be turning. Poverty is eroding large segments of western civilisation, and with poverty comes anger. The Brits decided to leave the EU because they don’t want to share, US Americans are threatening to vote Trump, and xenophobic tendencies are spreading throughout Europe. Meanwhile, the Turks who were excluded from EU on petty formalities (in reality because they are Moslem) in spite of the fact that they met more of the EU’s terms than many of the other new EU nations, are now on a dangerous course. Would the extremely bloody military attempt to overthrow the government have happened if Turkey had been allowed into the EU? Would the Turkish government now be putting thousands of innocent people in prison?

Meanwhile, the French and the Belgians are being decimated by subhuman lunatics. Most of the French are blissfully unaware of the nation’s past crimes in the Levant. The horrors committed there as late as in the third quarter of the twentieth century are not all that well known to me either, nor are the crimes against humanity committed by King Leopold of Belgium and all the other colonial masters of the past, though I know the damage is still crippling. But I doubt that the subhuman minions of ISIS know much about these things either.

It is true that France, and for that matter all of Europe, has a lot to atone for. We are now even negotiating Tkip, the purpose of which is to allow rich people in rich nations to grow richer, regardless of the consequences for the rest of the world.

They say that the mutant who drove over and killed at least 84 people in France was not even religious. He was just angry because he was a failure. He is not likely to have been very well versed in past or even modern history. However, that does not exonerate ISIS.

By advocating the random killing of people, ISIS has instituted a “best practice” that can be applied by anyone, including disgruntled divorcees. They have institutionalised “random killing”. The killing they abet is not idealistic, it is merely foul. What they are doing in Europe brings out, in us – the Europeans – the “them vs us” instincts of the primitive human tribal animal.

I have never heard a level-headed interview of any ISIS leader, so I can only judge them by the deeds they claim are their doing. I therefore have no option but to assume they are all psychopaths of the very worst category, the kind that would not stoop at eating live babies, if there were anything to gain by it. I don’t believe that theirs is an attempt, however mistaken, to create a better world. I don’t even believe they care about their so-called subjects. I believe they are power freaks.

As far as I am concerned, every one of the leaders of ISIS deserves not only life imprisonment, but life in hell, whatever that means (the worse the better).

So what does that make me, if not a blood-thirsty animal? I am not yet willing to embrace the concept of capital punishment, it is true, but my words “the worse the better” would seem to indicate that I am not quite as averse to torture as I claim to be, and I fear I am not alone. If this continues, civilisation will have turned into its anti-thesis within few years.

So what is to be done? Fight back? Alas, they have money, lots of it; any technology can be bought if you have enough money. And they are not bound by any international conventions. But their very greatest strength is that the armies they command far out-number anything we could ever even dream of mustering. They recruit from an absolutely endless reserve of people who are excluded from the good life, people who have nothing but Paradise to live and die for. Their command of innumerable people who long to die, is an unparallelled asset.

So I fear I do not share Stephen Pinker’s optimism about the improvement of the human race. Just as we waited too long to take climate change seriously – we are still waiting, in fact  – we will wait too long to take the great North-South divide seriously. It represents as great a threat to civilisation as the climate change. I fear that every month we wait will claim new lives, blown up in random explosions of depair and rage.

In the mean time, maybe we should harness the services of our own discontents: I suggest the following announcement: If you are one of the very few Western nutheads who suffer from a compelling urge to commit a suicidal massacre – in a school, an airplane, or any other public place – please hold your horses: Your government needs you.

TTIP

One of the things we should not do – and I mean NOT – is to fail to notice a rather sinister business super-deal looming on the horizon. As we know, big business has a way of devising smart ways of making money and of disregarding all consequences for the physical and social climate on our globe.

When I was a child, I was taught in school that our politicians, government and even big business, mostly, all work for the common good. Now the thing about furry whales, a species to which I belong, is that they can grow very old, and in the end they all reach the point where they have seen just about everything before. Many times, even. So they know that neither politicians, nor governments, and least of all big business, care about the long-term common good (neither do voters, for that matter), and many of them hardly even care about the short-term common good.

You on your part may have been told, when you were a child, that God looks after us, and that everything will work out in the end. Far be it my intention to judder your personal faith, but please consider that your God may – unlike our politicians, government and even big business – have very long-term goals indeed, so long-term, in fact, that cleaning up the planet could mean starting all over again, with uni-cellular organisms.

There is little I can tell you, so far, about TTIP. In fact what little there is to tell is, according to the Guardian’s article What is TTIP and why should we be angry about it? so boring that you will fall asleep if I try, though the article itself is far from boring. (Did you, for instance, know there was an “international coefficient of tedium”, and that it is 25.7?)

All I will say, is that TTIP is the last thing our planet needs just now.

Told you so

It is very rude, in polite society, to say “I told you so”. But I don’t belong to polite society. I’m just one of those solitary creatures swimming around in the sea and observing the growing mess humanity is making of it.

And indeed I did say, again and again, directly and indirectly, that the poor would eventual break down the walls we have put in place, and flood all over our precious continents. You cannot dangle a delicious piece of T-bone steak in front of a mammal’s nose and expect it to shrug and go back to sleep. Dogs, of course, are an exception. They are slave mammals. But humans, who are no less mammals than tigers, will not sleep. They will ponder, lie in wait, mutter and murmur, riot, write treatises and, eventually, one way or another, claim their part of the steak, maybe all of it. If need be, they will do so violently. Violence is, after all, one of the stuffs little boys and girls are made of, and that’s why we have to have laws and courts and armies.

So now it happened: The barriers around Europe broke, and immigrants flooded all over the continent. I shall not treat you to the figures, but they are dramatic.

Determined to shut up for a change, to sit back and watch, I must admit that the way it happened took me entirely by surprise. It was not through violence, not through an international court and not by bilateral agreement that the immigrants gained access, but by appealing to Europeans’ compassion and awareness of injustice.

For months we had been staring aghast at the gaily bobbing vessels slowly coming into sight from our shores, overloaded with colourfully dressed dead or dying Africans. For months we had been the impotent witnesses of scenes from the slaughterhouse that is Syria, Iraq and Afghanistan. We knew all too well that sitting along our eastern borders, sore-footed and aching, with nothing to their names but a tenuous link to help or home in the shape of their mobile phones, thousands, tens of thousands, eventually hundreds of thousands of victims sat waiting and hoping. And winter was drawing near.

And all of a sudden, as if by common accord, all of Europe seemed to be clamouring: “LET THEM IN!” I swear I have never in my life been as moved.

But now, Europe has closed ranks again. Disconcerted by the sheer logistical complexity of having to introduce so many aliens to an intricate web of rights and obligations, we find ourselves doubting that we can cope with the task.

Would it not have been better never to have gotten into this predicament in the first place? We knew this would happen sooner or later (or should have known), and it will happen again (or continue happening). The effects of climate change will go on getting exponentially worse, and the number of destitute, desperate people – victims of war, injustice, and/or climate-induced disasters – will continue to rise dramatically.

I ask you – I beg you – to consider:

Where did we go wrong? What did we not do that we should have done? What did we do that we should not have done? And what changes of tack are required of us? I urge you – again, beg you – to please not dismiss this as not being your personal responsibility. Those of us who live in “democratic” societies ARE the law.

What’ll it be, eh?

I have just read an article in El Pais  which alerted me to a debate that appears to be raging in many academic circles. The writer refers to the immortal opening lines of Dicken’s novel Tale of Two Cities, which he finds particularly relevant. And who could disagree?

It was the best of times,
it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom,
it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief,
it was the epoch of incredulity,
it was the season of Light,
it was the season of Darkness,
it was the spring of hope,
it was the winter of despair,

Just as in Dickens’ time, the debate stands between those who hold that this is the best of all possible worlds, and that it will just continue getting better and, on the other hand, those who hold that, at a steadily accelerating pace, we are heading for an apocalypse. The article warns against both the complacency of the one camp and the irrational alarmism of the other.

The article continues that it is true, as Professor Steven Pinker reaffirms (cf. The Better Angels of Our Nature, 2011) that people know more than ever before about ongoing and imminent disasters thanks to the global internet. That is a very good point which certainly goes a long way to explain the anxiety with which many people view the future. According to the article, many scientists who do not see eye to eye with Professor Pinker agree, too, that the number of deaths due to war has tended to decline, but that, they add, is not necessarily the result of a decline in violence: From 1946 on, medical care in war zones has improved, so that fewer lives are lost as a result of, for instance, inections and fevers. However the number of permanently physically incapacitated persons has risen from 3 for every war fatality to 10.

At any rate, there are also other very serious issues that need to be addressed fairly rapidly. What gives rise to alarm is not so much the issues as such as the fact that they are not really being addressed.

Personally, by my very nature, I am rather inclined to complacency. But being one of the last living specimens of my species, cetacea hirsutis, popularly known as the furry whale, I can’t help noticing that the waters I traverse increasingly taste, smell and feel like last week’s soup. Ugh!

I certainly admit there is much to be said, very much, in favour of the six or seven decades following WWII. But as for the future, I beg to differ with Professor Pinker, whose intentions, I am sure, are honourable: He is a psychologist, after all. If I were a psychologist and lost faith in humans’ commitment to improve the world we all live in, I would have to call in sick. Fortunately, I am not a psychologist.

I can only meekly refer, once again, to the afore-mentioned soup we have got ourselves into and urge friend and foe alike to get their acts together quick.

Added on 18 March 2018: See interview of Stephen Pinker on Al Jazeera

Shrinking Zipping and Sharing

No, this is not a lecture on how to get rid of your mother-in-law /teacher / unfaithful spouse / boss or even the President, though you might say it is, in fact, a lecture on applied modern cannibalism.

This is about how to get rid of man’s worst foe, the wolf. You didn’t know that the wolf is man’s worst foe? Well, in that case you should come to Norway, because here, in modern Norway, where nobody I personally know has ever seen a wolf – because they have been virtually exterminated – there are a lot of people who hate the species so violently that they will risk their lives to shrink, zip and share the last remains of the population. Yes, risk their lives. Not that there is anything heroic about wolf hunting. You could probably even lie down and pretend to be dead and no Norwegian wolf would come within a mile’s range of you, because here wolves are scared of humans and do not eat them for breakfast. There is nothing heroic about pulling the trigger of a powerful weapon, though obviously a lot of cognitively impaired men (yes, mostly men, but of course there are some pretty imbecile women too) think otherwise. But risk their lives, they have, nonetheless.

I’ll tell you how: The police have just launched a tremendous operation to round up 12 men who are suspected of having organised a secret wolf extermination programme. If found guilty, these men will serve hefty prison sentences and their lives will have been wrecked. The men stand charged of very serious environmental crime, aggravated by the fact that it was organised and has been going on for many years. You might not think that a long prison sentence is so bad. After all, you can read and write and watch TV. You can even study – though I doubt these men have the intellectual balls to do any such thing. But you will be estranged from your wife and children, from your friends at the pub and many people will shy away from you when you get out. You may not find work. The police will of course have impounded your splendid weapon, the banks will have taken your house, and you will no longer be able to afford a car to match the weapon. You may find that you are so lonely that you must seriously consider ending it all.

Normally, that is, after a long prison sentence. But these guys, if found guilty, will be celebrated. When released from prison they will be carried as heroes through their towns. Welcome to Norway.

Norway might be the country you thought was covered not by cities but by wilderness, with the second lowest population density in Europe (approx 15 persons per square km). But all is not as it seems. You are welcome to hike almost anywhere, to pick berries and mushrooms and even to pitch a tent for two days. But what will you see below the tree line? Mostly uniform so-called forest, which is not really forest, at least not wild forest. It is regularly harvested wood, so that only rapidly growing trees will be found there, i.e. little other than pine and spruce and birch. Here and there along a river or shore there will be small patches of greater diversity. Of course birds live in harvested forests as well, but unfortunately few bird species thrive in coniferous trees. Rabbits of course live anywhere … oh, sorry. We don’t have rabbits. Foxes we do have, and hares and elk, but there is the hitch, you see, because we also have hunters. And the occasional wolf. Wolves and hunters both hunt hares and elk, and hunters have more splendid weapons.

Yes, we do indeed have these great big, overweight, beer drinking hulks who are desperately in need of something to boost their mid-life crisis egos, and only the splendid weapon will do the trick. In Norway we don’t really believe in battering women. I mean, of course there are some who do, but even they – the ones who batter – consider such acts heinous, loathsome. So they don their expensive forest gear, go out and blow off a few rounds into a passing hare or fox or elk, and come home rejuvenated.

I can understand the Spanish who kill mocking birds and the like: They are hungry! There’s a crisis out there! But there is absolutely no reason other than psychological for a Norwegian to kill anything whatsoever. Not even war. We don’t have wars here. Or at least we didn’t.

But we might be getting one. Because the right to kill animals in the forest is as important for these… er … men as the right to kill people perceived to be lurking in gardens in USA. Listening to the radio a moment ago I heard two men practically come to blows about the issue. They were howling at each other! That I have almost never heard in this country. Here, even hulks take great pain in never raising their voices, never getting excited, never being emotional. One of the men is a normally smooth-talking politician, the sort of guy you imagine in elegant and expensive casual wear and trim haircut. The other is a lean biologist whose expertise the broadcasting company often turn to, and whose phlegm normally annoys me. (“Here we are,” I often shout at the radio, “doing nothing to prevent the destruction of the climate, and you just… just…!” I scream, practically weeping.)

He was shouting. More than that, he was screaming, practically weeping. They both were.

And I shudder at the consequences if the 12 are actually convicted of the crimes they are charged with. The outrage of all those men out there whose self-imposed right to kill wolves has been challenged will most definitely not end with a few skirmishes in the press.

Now, just for the record, I shall add that the wolf-killing party claims self-defence as their defence. Or to be more precise, they don’t admit to killing the wolves, but they demand their right to do so, because, they say, wolves kill their sheep and, they say, wolves want to kill their children. Also, to be fair, there is no doubt that wolves do kill sheep, not least since sheep in this country are not minded. They just roam the so-called wilds as freely as hares and foxes and elk. And the rare wolf.

But to my knowledge, no wolf has killed any child for as long as I have lived. Last year 190 people lost their lives in road traffic accidents in this country. Do I hear anybody wanting to exterminate cars?

And if you say that my venomous descriptions of wolf hunters is over the top, you might just possibly be right. But that just goes to show how shallow our civilised dignity is. Scratch a little, so that the paint comes off, and behold: We are hardly more civilised than the beasts we hunt. Scary, isn’t it.

 

Little pieces in a big puzzle

— I guess I’ve been a bit quiet lately…

— What?

— Oh. Yes, every day. Here, too. And fog. But, no, it’s not the weather. It’s …

— What? … yes, very depressing. Anyway: this guy Mirowski…

— Sixty days? Well, that’s something. Even Mirowski would be impressed, I’m sure.

— Philip.

— No, Philip Mirowski. He’s an economist.

— E-co-no-mist.

— Yes, that’s what I said. No, of course I haven’t started studying…

— Yes, I know it’s raining, but you know, this is what they predicted for our corner of the world.

— I’m not gloating. I’m just saying that it was to be expected. Anyway, this Mirowski…

— Of course I grieve about the demise of …

— Philip. Yes, Philip Mirowski. And just wait till you hear the book’s title.

— Hello?

— Oh, you’re there. The title is: Never Let a Serious Crisis Go to Waste.

— Well? … Isn’t that a rather neat title?

— You don’t? Well let me remind you that you were very cocksure, after the Leman bros triggered an avalanche of disasters for home owners, that politicians and bankers would see the errors of their ways….

— No, I’m not trying to ruin your mood – allow me to point out, there wasn’t much of a mood to ruin – on the contrary. Point is: Mirowski, Philip Mirowski, that is, explains why they haven’t.

—… seen the errors of their ways.

— Well, for one thing, it’s easier to do something about something, if you understand the reason for that something.

— For another? What other? Ah, you’re hoping I’ll tell you something that’ll cheer you up? Well, how about a new word for you, since you’re a linguist – I learnt it from Mirowski.

— Agnotology

— You knew it?

— I’ll be… But I’m sure even a linguist will find plenty of words to learn from Mirowski. More importantly, though, what he writes will strike you as heady stuff – if you manage to get through the first chapter, which I found very arcane.

— Ah, so you’re listening now! Well, all I can say is that as you read, you get the sense that you’re finding pieces to a gigantic puzzle you’ve been staring helplessly at for years. And, mind you, he has a great sense of humour!

— No, I don’t have the solution to anything whatsoever. Of course not. But there are a whole lot of clues in the book as to why things are not getting better – on the whole, I mean – in spite of humanity’s collective knowledge. After all, we know that the Big Bang occurred 13.7 billion years ago, and we how to build practically anything, including (soon) habitats on Mars, but we don’t know how to build sustainable and equitable societies on this planet. But we should know, you know. So there’s a stumbling block somewhere. Right?

— Are you with me?

— Hello?

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